Transelkirks Ultra Leaderboard


A few years ago, I was out of town and planned a run with a friend on the local trails.  That friend had a work emergency and couldn’t make it, so he recommended a weekly group road run to attend in the area.

I decided to take his advice and join this group.  To my surprise, there were close to one hundred runners in this gathering that started at a local brewpub.  Much different than the 10-20 usually attending my trail group runs.  The leader briefly explained the route, then remarked, “Let’s go!”  Runners put their headphones in and took off like it was the local 10k road race.  I ran much faster than anticipated, mainly to keep up so I wouldn’t get lost.  There was absolutely no conversation during the run.

After the run, I ordered a beer and found a seat with a few other runners.  The dialogue was pleasant, and I made a few new friends.

Like most trail runners, I started as a road runner.  I still do a few runs on the pavement, but this run reminded me that there is a difference between trail runners (dirt churners) and road runners (pavement pounders.)  Below is a tongue-in-cheek list I made with the help of a few other trail runners.  Feel free to comment on anything we missed.  Pavement pounders revenge comments are welcome!


Find your running shoes at Roadrunner Sports


Pavement Pounders

Dirt Churners

Race Aid Stations

Grab a cup of water and throw it on the ground.  No need to lose precious seconds!Hangs out for 10 minutes eating handfuls of Ruffles, Skittles, and only to wash it down with a liter of Coke 


EDM, Eminem, Thrash Metal, anything with a fast beatPleasant conversation and nature’s sounds

Post Race Celebration

Grab a swag bag with a medal, shirt, stickers, other race promos, and head homeA finishers glass to fill with a favorite beverage and talk with other finishers for hours until crawling back to the tent

Post Race Conversation

“What was your time?”“How many times did you hit the tarmac (dirt)?”  


Hills ruin my training paceLet’s get after it!

Annual Comparison

“How many miles did you run last year?”“How many feet did you ascend last year?”

Biggest Fear


Shoe Cleanliness 

Jump over puddles and avoid mud to keep clean Run through puddles and wear mud as a badge of honor 


Keeps an eye out for the next porta-pottyKeeps an eye out for a tree large enough to partially conceal self 

Direction of Gaze

Looking out over the herdScanning 10 ft ahead for obstacles, scenery be damned

Marching Order

Shoulder to shoulderSingle file


Those are used for skiing, right?Great for hilly, technical trails


You doing the Jeff Galloway program?How else am I going to get up that hill?

Pre-race meal

Carb load!Whatever’s left in the cooler

Family Support

Wait for you at the finishCrew Team

Marathon Race

Exactly 26.2!  Better not be more!Anything between 25 and 29 miles

Race Course

Follow everyone elseFollow cones, get off course for a bit.  Check phone.  Find the course again.  No big deal


One mile before the runThe first mile during the run


8-10 minute miles is an easy, aerobic recovery run9-12 minute miles is a challenging, anaerobic tempo workout


My knee hurts, better take two weeks off. Ice, rehabIf the bone ain’t showin’, keep on goin’!


The last place- fail, loser, embarrassing DFL- Hero, getting your money’s worth

Icy Conditions

It looks like a treadmill dayPut some screws in your shoes and get after it

See a Friend on a Run

Wave helloStop and talk for five minutes and not worry how it affects your Strava time